Maybe it's overt...
Blowing a gasket.
Loose cannon.
Wild with rage.
Seething.
Or invisible...
Wound up like a coil.
Blood boiling.
Smiling through clenched jaws.
Contained. Stuffed down. Suppressed.
Or maybe it's self-injurious...
Or harmful to others.
However we experience our anger, these defensive expressions are the roadblocks to our authentic connection, growth, a sense of fulfillment and joy.
They are also the precursors to exhaustion, sleep loss, anxiety and illness.
There are many things people do with their anger.
Anger is often thought of as a bad thing, as if we aren't supposed to feel it, express it or show it. We shush our kids, interrupt their anger with a stern angry finger, threaten their angry tirade with a tantrum of our own. We are fearful of anger at the same time as we feel the right to express our own. Any way we want.
Anger is a human emotion--a secondary emotion.
Secondary...because what's underneath it are the disappointments, sorrows, shame and fears we are unconsciously trying to avoid by bypassing them with our anger. That's not to say we can't be with our anger when it comes up. It's important for us know how we feel when someone looks at us in a way that we perceive conveys, "You don't matter."
Or "You think I'm an idiot?!"
Or "You think I'm invisible?"
Or "You think you're better than me, more important, smarter...worthier?"
Or "You don't want to hear me, see me, know me?!"
Anger is wrapped tightly around themes of betrayal, rejection, loneliness, insignificance, inadequacy, and loss. Every angry reaction has a story. Our hair-trigger reactions -- neural triggers that have real estate in our brains -- are real and legit and...painful.
But where do they originate?
How can we calm our reactions so that we can feel our anger...be with it...but not stay with it, not let it overtake us and have us suffer the side-effects of a heavy heart that palpitates or a chaotic mind that fuels our debilitating migraines?
Anger is a signal.
It's tells us where the fire is burning.
Where our needs are unmet.
Where we are hurting.
Where we must tend to that hurt--ourselves.
From the inside out.
First.
Before anyone else can tend to us.
This is the heart and soul and gift of our anger.
It leads us back to our hearts, to compassion for ourselves.
The goal isn't to live our lives void of angry feelings, but to know ourselves, to cultivate kindness toward ourselves, patience, curiosity, tenderness...so that we let anger teach us about where we need to grow, to thrive, to unlock who we are. And enjoy our one and only life.
Join me for a WYSH Workshop this Saturday 8:30 am-10:30 am on:
UNDERSTANDING ANGER: Why We're Reactive, Resentful and Rageful and How to Stop Stuffing, Numbing, Running, Shutting Down and Lashing Out
To reserve your spot, email info@wearyourspirit.com
http://us6.campaign-archive2.com/?u=716cd88c8fe7457b98097bc62&id=b0331c016c
